40. On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

39. On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

38. In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

37. A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.

36. On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

35. In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.

34. Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.

33. On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.

32. In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

31. In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

30. In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

29. From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

28. A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

27. In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

26. In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

25. In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

24. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

23. In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

22. From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

21. Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

20. In a Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.

19. In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.

18. In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such things, please do not read notis.

17. In a Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.

16. In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

15. In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.

14. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?

13. Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.

12. In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

11. In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

10. At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

9. In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

8. In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

7. In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

6. From the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

5. In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

4. In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

3. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time, we regret that you will be unbearable.

2. In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.

1. In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

sorry bout the long absence...bt anyways..been kinda busy working and all...

bt one of the few things i've realised..is that working....is really a bitch..

its like all the time in school...i kind of dreaded it...thinking it was such a bore and stuff..

bt once work began...jeeze..its a whole new thing..

anyways..that aside..

how bout that long overdue outing?

or are we all too busy with work/other stuff?

have fun with this thing i found whilst surfing around for "useless inventions" =]

TOP 24 Things You'd Never Know Without The Movies

24. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

23. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

22. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

21. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

20. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

19. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

18. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

17. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

16. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.

15. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of Wembley Stadium.

14. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

13. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

12. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

11. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

10. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

9. An electric fence powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

8. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

7. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

5. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

4. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

3. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war - unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

2. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade -- at any time of the year.